If There'd Only Been A Care Net
By: Natasha Rapert, Surrendering The Secret Volunteer Leader
I had an abortion when I was 16. When I heard the nurse say, "The test is positive," it was the heaviest dose of reality I had ever experienced at that point. Prior to this, I was able to push down the harsh realities of my childhood with relative success, but this new reality caught me off guard, so it was like a sucker punch to my gut.
The only thing I wanted at that time in my life was my freedom. Freedom from abuse. Freedom from the burden and self-imposed responsibility to keep my family whole and together, and at the same time, freedom FROM my family, altogether. I did not know there were options to solve my home circumstances, which caused me to feel as though I certainly had no options with my pregnancy.
I instantly felt like the only answer was to "protect" my baby from the abuses in my life by giving her over to Jesus, via an abortion, while she was still 'just a blob of tissue.' I did not make the decision because I did not want her.
I made the decision to "save" her… save her from the years of abuse, neglect and secrets I had already experienced and carried. I felt like I had to make the decision and appointment quickly; and, I did.
After the abortion, I was in a state of mild shock. I could not think clearly. My boyfriend looked concerned because I was babbling. I could see in his eyes that I was scaring him, which told me I needed to pull myself together.
He took me home and I slept. My mother came home from work a few hours later and she knew nothing. I looked in her eyes and silently asked her in my head, "Why don't you see me?"
However, it was a day like any other day, as far as she knew, and I had to pretend that was the truth in order to keep my secret.
Being a child myself, I did not realize there were pro-life organizations. Actually, I never gave it any thought. I knew I had the option to keep my baby, but I could not protect her.
I knew I had the option of adoption, but I was certain (in my mind, anyway) that my parents would not allow it, and I wondered what people would think of me if I gave my baby to complete strangers.
After all, what mother gives her baby away? I would not be able to protect her if she were with someone else, and I trusted no one, except Jesus.
Now, almost 40 years later, I wonder: What if I had been informed? What if I had known the truth? What if there were a Care Net nearby?
If there had been a Care Net...
I would have known of the spiritual and emotional damage an abortion would cause me.
I would have known what PTSD symptoms were, and that my life was already full of trauma.
I would have known the decision to abort was one of the most important decisions I could ever make.
I would have had someone who would quietly listen to me with no other motives or judgments or arguments.
I may have discovered I was not actually pregnant at all, because I found out a couple of weeks later that my abortion doctor was charged for performing false abortions.
I would have known my options.
I would have known the truth.
I would have known I had time.
I would have found the freedom I was looking for.
I would have known that I had rights and nobody could force me to make a particular decision.
I would have known that Jesus longed to protect me, and my baby.
I would have felt empowered.
I would have had hope.
I would have had my baby.
If there'd only been a Care Net.
Giving Tuesday is upon us, and I cannot impress upon you enough the importance of your giving, especially this year.
We're trying to raise $10,000 this Giving Tuesday and you can click here to either donate or see how else you can help.
As we desperately work to serve more women than we ever have with even less money and fewer resources, we hope you'll partner with us to keep Care Net SoMD the vital ministry it is.
Because as my dear friend Natasha so beautifully shared, Care Net SoMD truly is the difference between life and death.
Would you join us in this worthy cause? Will you be part of the reason that no mother needs to wonder what life would be like if there'd only been a Care Net?
Always For His Glory,
Care Net SoMD