After hopping off a train, my best friend drove a half-hour to the airport to see me for five minutes. This was one moment amidst the many ways people have affirmed, loved on, and showed up for me. And the critical quality weaving these types of relationships together is accountability -- and that's my wish this week for all of us. Accountable, coevolving relationships. adrienne maree brown describes this in detail:
"We will tell each other we hurt people, and who. We will tell each other why, and who hurt us and how. We will tell each other what we will do to heal ourselves, and heal the wounds in our wake. We will be accountable, rigorous in our accountability, all of us unlearning, all of us crawling towards dignity. We will learn to set and hold boundaries, communicate without manipulation, give and receive consent, ask for help, love our shadows without letting them rule our relationships... We all have work to do."
Onto some odds and ends:
- The Black Feminist Breathing Chorus, though produced five years ago, remains a gorgeous 21-day visual and sonic immersion rooted in the vision of black future. It's hard for me to describe the feelings that surfaced yesterday listening to, "I love myself enough to be who I am." The project is the love-child of Dr. Alexis Pauline Gumbs, whose beautiful work at the intersection of futurism, poetics, queer survival, and oracles makes me feel the vastness of possibility.
- Love, death, and begging for celebrities to kill you. The savory side of soy milk. Living alone as a revolutionary act.
- Rest as reparations. Rest as an anti-capitalist act. Rest as a way to heal or process trauma. Powerful, needed listening that reframed how I viewed my own relationship (or lack thereof) with rest.
- "When I look back I have no regrets. Looking forward, I want to make it more meaningful, centered toward what I want. What makes me happy?" Uma Kondabolu reflects out loud about retiring and prioritizing herself. This is very special.
- You can use Venmo to make shitty life situations a little less painful for your friends. I've been both on sides, and it's true.