Transformation Tuesday - why do People like you?
Thanks for reading my daily emails! I really appreciate you! Today I'm going to talk about why people like you and why you like them.
If you read last weeks weeks emails I talked about knowing yourself, about how when you know yourself truly and deeply, it’s easier to reject the labels and assigns of others.
Being perfectly honest, most people I interacted with... didn’t like me lol. I really just didn’t know how to people. I worked, I thought, really hard on getting people to like me... too hard, and it showed. Trying to buy friends with gifts, by doing things for them, or the social currency of gossip. When the kids still didn’t like me, I tried to at least get the teachers to like me, then I became a brown nose lol.
This led to me living a fairly isolated, small town life where books were my only friends. It seemed when I did manage to make a friend, something blew it up. Mostly me just being too needy. As an adult, with little to no experience managing friendships, I just could not seem to crack the code and have people “like me.” Sure, I was entertaining, bit of a shock jock... full arsenal of jokes from 10 years bartending. I was raw. I guess it was a reflection of the pain I held inside me. They liked me at parties lol, just not much after.
After I did the exercise that I shared in the acceptance video (things I like about myself, things I don’t), that all changed. I was able to stop doing the things that I didn’t like about myself (gossiping, being very loud, complaining about my very real and crappy circumstances), I felt like a different person. Like I had a new personality- Joe Dispenza talks about that in his videos - if you want a new life, you need to create a new personality.
From that period where I started trying to affect change in my personality, I still have people that I keep in touch with. I wasn’t fully where I wanted to be then, but I was close lol.
The people that liked me before my changes, only did so for the train wreck entertainment value, or for what they could get out of me. They were the kind of people who enjoyed the chaos that was me lol and the fact that I was very giving without boundaries (doormat)
Now, the people I am close to like me for very different reasons. We laugh, a lot. We go deep into life, our feelings, our experiments. We tell our stories as lessons learned, not horror shows we are stuck in with seemingly no way out. We encourage each other, provide a shoulder to cry on and a heart full of love and gratitude just to share time with each other. 💛💜💖💘♥️💚
Because of that, because I have that support system, and I know myself and what I’m all about, I am better able to manage the multitude of chronic illnesses I deal with. Not having to stress over friend drama, not having to listen to the same of stories of people who won’t do what they need to to have a better life (for whatever reason), not having to feel sad and lonely - questioning your friendships because they always complain you can’t give them more or “be a better friend.” Those things all weigh on you, and make life harder to cope with.
Spend some time today thinking about why people like you. If you’re surrounded by good people who lift you up and help you cope (even if it’s just 1 or 2 people), feel your gratitude for that. Take a moment to realize not everyone is at that place. There are many sad and lonely people in the world.
If you are one of those sad and lonely people, take heart. That is something you can change. I never thought my life would be so different, that I would go from sad and lonely to talking to tens of thousands of people about coping, hope and loving yourself... yet here I am.
If you are already at a place where you don’t need to hear this, consider sharing it with someone who might not be there yet.
Tomorrow I’ll be releasing “what happens if I don’t need people to like me?” The text will come in the morning with the dose and the vid will drop on Facebook and YouTube at 3 pm PST.
Happy Tuesday! Make it a great day! Remember, the choice is always YOURS :)